I can't believe I fell for it.

I can always count on losing a few brain cells when I go to Vegas. But it may have gone too far this time.

Today I was catching up on my mail. Tear open and trash. When one got my attention. There was a little post it note stuck on some newsprint. "SHeridan (sic)/you gotta see this!/j". As it happens, I know someone named "j", and was sort of expecting to hear from her. The #10 envelope mailed from Long Island. Well, she's in Boston, but who knows? The newsprint had "Chattanooga, TN" upper right. And the Headline: "Multi-Billion Dollar Giveaway/Approved By Congress -/Money Is Available NOW!

Finally, it hit me what this thing was. It continued with these bullets... "To Start Your Own Business!/To Own Your Own Home!/To Invest In Real Estate!"

Personally, I'd want to test without the exclamation points; enough is enough. But on the whole, it's the smartest piece of [non-Boardroom] direct mail that's come through my door in a long time.

Here are a few of the features:

• The newspaper sized newsprint is folding in sixths, with the yellow post it note stuck on upside-down
• Date is upper left, for last Wednesday, top center is "Special Report: How To Get Money From The U.S. Government, and upper right, as I said, is the nearest large city... in my case, Chattanooga, TN
• Fake ink smudges in blue and red
• Excellent design for maximum readership
• Main article (this is unusual) made to look as if it were a separate newspaper, copied onto the front of this one (this effect created with design software)
• Real federal grants table proving that amount of grants offered has gone up, citing whitehouse as source
• Big blue arrow at bottom of first page stating in reverse type: "Seating Is Limited!"

There are testimonials galore. You can imagine how the governement references, the photo of the ex-bureaucrat, the table -- even the good, but-not-too-good design -- work together to build the credibility of the piece. And the idea that we all know someone named "J." who could be sending us a clipped article, well, apparently it still works to get attention. I would never have given as much attention to a self-mailer. 

The first "article" begins with the headline in blue in reverse type: "Local Conference Tells Where The Money Is And How To Get It!"

--I knew it! I knew they were hiding vast stores of cash from us!--

There is a note from the Former Deputy General Counselor for the Unites (sic) States Treasury Department. Headline for the note: "The Money Is There! You've Got To Go After It!" and his smiling face stands just to the right.Finally a little straight talk from an insider who wants to help me. Show me the free money.

I don't want to keep you too long. Let me just share, in sequence, the subheads for this first "article":

• This is real help!
• Who should attend?
• It's FREE!
• Special Bonus For All Attendees
• Don't wait!

That covers about 600 words. Tells me everything I need to know. And is enticing enough to pull me into the middle pages. And easy enough for me to give them a call on the last page. (Four pages altogether.)

There is an additional bonus occupying the bottom fourth of the page: "YOU CAN GET UP TO $1000 IN GROCERY/COUPON SAVINGS... JUST FOR ATTENDING.**

There are calls to action all over the place. Great example of how just following the rules, not getting to fancy, can result in a great piece. In fact, I may just give 'em a call.