Posts (page 2)
Well, it's happening. I'm in the final throes of my impulse. This is the most dangerous phase, and the most delicate. One false move, and I'll be lost forever. It's all up to them now.
After my workout today, I wandered in to a Circuit City. My dad has decided he needs a laptop. Good for him. And he'd like me to pick one out for him. One young fellow, shy, wouldn't look me in the eye, was very polite. Not that he had 'good manners', had cultivated courtesy or elegance of expression. Just that he was willing to help.
I said I just wanted to look around a bit, and he left me. Another showed up. At this point I had some questions, but it happened that he had to leave in the middle to see about his Icee. Are you kidding me? The other kid came back around.
He shows me the best solution, the decision is made, and off I go.
Like it or not, your sales copy represents a crucial 'touch' with your prospects. Which of those two youths would you send out?
And that brings me to today's topic: desire.
Now, we're not talking about impulse buys at the cash register. We're talking about that Porsche 911 GT2, the new yacht, or in my case, a MacBook.
That's right. After years of frustration with cumbersome operating systems, faulty PCs, and the ridicule of all my music friends, I'm getting ready to make the switch.
It started small, an inkling of an idea. Over time it grew as I gave myself reasons why. Now I can be typing away one moment, only to find myself immersed in the Apple website a moment later, time suspended. I have no idea how I got there.
And, as this emotion driven desire grows, as I learn better justification in the face of all logical evidence to the contrary, there will come a time...
There will come a day when I wake up, and I will be consumed by one overwhelming desire: I must have that MacBook!
And, like a good addict, when that happens I may cancel appointments, forget to feed the dog (not really), and drive an hour and a half to the nearest Mac store. Nothing will do but to have it now.
If you've ever wanted something, you probably have experienced a similar process. Go ahead and fill in the details. We'll see why in a moment. And if you've bought a lot of things, congratulations. That is one of the (possible) signs of copywriter potential.
We're not merely interested in detail, nor the depth of the emotional anguish as we scheme to get what we want. We're looking for a process. And, as I left some clues, you may have noticed that the process followed closely the layout of a sales letter. Shocking?
It may be worth going into this in some detail in a future post, but for now, let me leave you with this. At some point I'll have picked out the computer, the accessories, software... everything, and I'll just need a little push to swipe the almighty credit card. (Don't worry, it's tied to my bank account.) It's really a delicate situation for the merchant: I could leave very happy, or very frustrated – even angry. Depends on the kind of service I get.
Which of those youths would you send out?
Learn the buying process, speed it with great copy. And take good care of your customers. They'll then take care of you for a long, long time.
To your Copywriting Mastery,
Sheridan Randolph
P.S. Thanks to everyone who replied about the Video Vampires typo. It was a test to see if misspelling would aid recall. Mark Joyner found that "Vistior" outpulled "Visitor" everytime. But probably not a great strategy on an IT website. Right, Andrew : )
Generally speaking, it takes a lot to get a rise out of me. Perhaps that comes from my New York years, where you learn not to be impressed with anything, except how bad the service is. But today I came across something that got me. Another marketing type, someone who should know better, had this to say:
Nobody likes over-the-top selling or advertising. In fact, no one likes sneaky subtle advertising either.
Now, I'll grant you, at first glance, it's easy to agree with that statement. But he goes on to imply that because they don't like it, we shouldn't use it. It's the wrong argument.
Great copywriting is designed with a purpose: to make sales. Now, it may happen over a series of mailings or steps as you romance your prospects, but ultimately the success of your campaign is judged by dollars in vs. dollars out. If your goal is to make people feel nice things, try poetry. (Be prepared for a major pay cut.)
So, whether people like your advertising is really a moot point isn't it. Instead, focus on what your prospects want, and on building that relationship. (Now prepare yourself for an awkward segue.)
My original intention today was to talk about... Mozart. While I'll grant you, Mozart has nothing to do with what came before (one of the hazards of reacting emotionally), if you've studied him you'll recognize that many of his operas were waayyy over the top dramatically (deliciously so), and ever so subtle musically. His prolific output contains hundreds of masterworks, among the most ingenious creations born of mankind in any era. But...
...there's a side of Mozart that no one ever talks about.
For some reason, hundreds upon hundreds of his works have been swept under the rug. Lost. Forgotten. Until now. See, while it's easy for posterity to look back and honor the genius of his creative endeavor, a closer look reveals many lesser works, best forgotten.
Maybe the most perfect composer... wasn't. Here's what's up.
Even for such a great genius as Mozart (and he surely was a genius), it takes time to plan and create a work of art. Don't get me wrong; I'm not putting copywriting on the same pedestal as classical music. But to write at the highest level takes a great deal of time and energy.
No one just shows up and writes a new control without spending years either developing their natural salesmanship, or studying masters. Perhaps a few seem to 'get it' early; even so, all the top ones I know, or know of, have been tremendous students. Back to Mozart.
Mozart could seem to compose out of the ether. But he actually was composing all the time in his head. While playing billiards, walking, etc. So writing it out was only a formality.
Then there were the pieces he wrote without planning. That's right, there's some real drivel by this great man. Mozart had to eat, and the quickest way to earn some cash was to write dance tunes.
I've heard these tunes: they mean nothing emotionally. Just something silly for the aristocracy to while away the evening on the backs of the peasants. Just (barely) good enough.
But he got paid.
What I'm not doing such a great job of hinting at here is this: it doesn't always take a masterwork of a sales letter to get the job done. Of course success depends on any number of factors. But the most important thing is to write. Always write. It doesn't have to be great. It doesn't even have to be good.
But if you'll commit to writing a bit each day, with some purpose or goal, I guarantee you'll see improvement, even mastery. Work in some of what we've discussed here, and you'll be on your way to your own maximum profits.
Unless, of course, you'd rather hire someone for the job...
To your Copywriting Mastery,
P.S. How are you enjoying this blog? Anything you'd like to see discussed? Other ideas? Let me know; we aim to please.
P.P.S. Does anyone remember the Rosser Reeves post titled "Video Vampirs"? I just wondered if you noticed the typo in the headline, and what kind of impression it might have made on you.
Want a quick trick for boosting response by up to 24%?
I watched a video of Frank Kern yesterday. He was selling a seminar, all proceeds to go to charity. Now, most of you probably believe in helping your fellow man. Especially children. In this case, Ugandan children. Frank told a story that appealed to altruistic fantasy in a typically low-key style. And undoubtedly, it fulfills that altruistic part of himself, in addition to raising his reputation, and actually helping people. (See, who said capitalists don't care?)
But that's not the point here.
We've just been talking about emotionally charged copywriting and salesmanship. And if you've ever seen Carlton's copy, you know viscerally what that means. (Is it time for another deconstruction?) But what about Ken McCarthy? Or Mr. Laid Back himself, Frank Kern?
In the video Frank made, there was another. His partner, and the husband of the woman behind the charity, is Michael Koenigs. If you have the time, you can observe their body language here. But no need, I'll fill you in.
What impressed me most about their interaction was Frank's dominance. He almost wouldn't let poor Michael talk. Now that I think of it, he pulled the same stunt on a teleseminar with Mike Filsaime. So much for 'laid back'.
Ken McCarthy? Ken will let you speak, as long as it's as important as what he wants to say.
Both do it in such a way that they don't seem pushy.
Check out Ken's blog sometime. He's not afraid to go toe to toe with his detractors. I've seen him wade into his comments section to set 'em straight. He knows his worth, and can say he can write circles around his competition without batting an eye.
I only mention this in case you miss it. You will note that these people, who are the real deal, are alphas. They may be subtle in expression, 'nice', over the top, or any number of things. But there's no mistaking. And if you've got the goods, a little swagger goes a long way.
How about that extra 24%?
If you see how this attitude can impact your business, you'll start to see big improvement in your business, no matter where you're starting. So go for it.
And to help you along the way, here's your free, tested direct response trick of the day. Draw an arrow to your opt-in form. Yep, it's that simple. Oh, don't forget to make it red.
To your Copywriting Mastery,
Funny thing. After writing the last post, I wasn't sure what direction to take. Then I had an idea, and put it to my subconscious to write while I slept. By midday today, I couldn't even remember what my idea had been. So much for my subconscious.
Just write the thing.
Remember that? That was the title of an old post here. Followed by the "Beat Writer's Block..." post. Well, those two make a powerful one-two punch. When the time came (another trick), I sat myself down and just wrote. On the clock.
The headline today was a favorite saying of Gary Halbert. The late great. It just came to me as I sat down to write. Not to put down meditation. But then, real meditation is a lot of work. You're not just there vegging out. There is focused intention of will. A kind of motion in stillness.
But we're here to talk about copywriting. And ultimately, to make you money.
I was recalling today an experience of mine. When I was working on my masters degree in New York, I saw an opportunity to make a little money. Performance based; my favorite. It involved calling people who had given money to the school. Or who might want to. Or anyone with a phone. And I was great at it.
I went all out, pulled any books I could find on cold-calling, etc. But there was a dark side to my success.
All the energy I put into it – it was a real gun-to-the-head approach – was pushing me over the edge. Those of you in sales may know someone like this. Maybe he's a top producer... but extremely high maintenance.
Well, I wasn't the top producer for the telethon; the girl calling for the business school got that honor. But then, I was calling penniless musicians. Squeezin' 'em. I got a call later saying the board couldn't believe how much money was raised for that music school. And, unlike other years, I was there calling alone.
But what a price. I was a mess.
If you haven't seen this phenomenon, I'll point you to a couple. Gary Halbert for example.
There's a guy who really lived. On the edge. And a great, great copywriter.
And this may be the most important lesson I've shared yet. One that I keep learning, from the masters, and from my experience.
The most important thing in salesmanship – live, in print, what have you – is that ferocious energy. The primal, animalistic drive. There was never a question on those calls that that day would be my best ever. Of course, when it wasn't (most of the time), I became a frazzled wreck.
What can I say. I thrive on pressure.
Forget everything else. All the rules. All the tactics and strategies. If you can harness this energy, what Carlton calls "gun to the head" writing, where you lay everthing out on the line, you will find success. And you'll damn sure know you're alive.
Just get a good lawyer.
To your Copywriting Mastery,
After all that analysis, I thought it might be fun to switch gears. Some asked to hear more about my experience at the meditation retreat. Ask and ye shall receive.
I had just finished my first year at Whole Foods in Boston, where I had desperately clawed my way up to lower middle management. (Not too bad for a kid taking a year off from college.) I had also taken a weekend job as security guard at Harvard. On top of those 60 odd hours, I was a part time student at New England Conservatory, where I was studying violin and viola.
[You're finding everything out tonight. Except the love stories...]
Oh, I was also studying with a master of Chinese martial arts, Dr. Leung. With all this going on, I wasn't finding much time for sleep, and it was slowly wearing me down.
Can you see how these interests, plus the workload, set me up to try something meditative and pastorale?
A friend, who had been through the experience recommended this Vipassana retreat. Now, I'd heard of Vipassana. There was a man who professed to teach it just about a block from our store. Something like the 'Zen Center' in Cambridge. One of my best customers in the supplements department. Made a lot of returns. But never kept his receipt – because he was Buddhist. Bless him.
At any rate, I determined to try this 'hard core' meditation. I'd visited our local Buddhist's place, done some of there flowery meditations. Not much going on there. Just kind of nice if you like sitting around on the floor with strangers for 45 minutes. So I didn't expect much.
As I mentioned Saturday, there is no talking for the duration. (Ok, there was an exception: a couple hours on the seventh evening.) That would be fine, most people aren't so interesting.
Meditation started early. I think we awoke at 4am. Don't take my word for the exact time, but it was early. There was time to clean up, and breakfast was a simple affair usually consisting of oatmeal with prunes and cinamonn. lunch varied, but always vegetarian. There was tea in the late afternoon, but no dinner. Dinner was distracting. And we needed to concentrate.
The first three days, we concentrated... on our noses. I kid you not. And it really made a lot of sense. First on the nose, then on a smaller part, just noticing sensations. And finally, we brought our concentration down to a point. No judging of the sensations, just remain aware. Do you think this could help you achieve things in life?
Now having strengthened our powers of concentration throught what was known as Anapana meditation, on the fourth day we are introduced to Vipassana. In this school, it is taught that the true teaching of the Buddha, in terms of cultivation practice, was lost in India. And it was. There are relatively few practicing Buddhists there, where Buddhism was absorbed into Hinduism. So it was preserved in Burma, now Myanmar.
No need to split hairs. As I said, I am not Buddhist, and I will leave them to sort out the niceties.
Vipassana refers to meditation where the practitioner is fully aware of, ultimately, everything. At the most subtle level.
I never got that far.
In fact, my practice ended when I left the retreat. But let me show you what I did do.
The procedure, assuming you've spent the time (months or years) in Anapana meditation, learning to focus to a point, you move that point of awarness to the top of your head. Then you begin to scan the body. Slowly at first. Piece by piece. And through. Everything. Down to the soles of your feet. Then back.
You will notice many sensations. Maybe pain. Maybe hot. Maybe itching. Just remain aware. Scanning the body. It may happen that these gross sensations, you begin to perceive at more subtle levels. If there is some pain that is hard to move through (and there will be), spend a moment there, observing. Gradually it will lessen, and you will be able to scan more quickly, at a deeper level.
There's no dogma. Just you examining your experience of your reality. Not really judging, just observing. And knowledge comes.
By the end, I was able to scan very quickly on a much more subtle level than I went in. It's a whole new experience of consciousness, of being. I became aware of myself as being something like strings of energy. I suppose if I'd kept at it, even those strings would have dissolved. To a finer awareness of reality.
Remember, this was ten hours a day of meditation.
There was a constant emphasis on accepting reality as it is, not as we would like it to be.
Could that help you in life? In business? I'm on Robert Ringer's side on this one. If you don't work from reality, your results may turn out to be fantasy.
Afterwards, I had a different concept of time. I could control my perception of it, so 16 hours on a bus (which I did immediately following), was nothing.
I've always been introspective, but I think I came out of there with some wisdom. Some self-knowledge that would have taken years to come by otherwise.
Meditating for a hundred hours in ten days is massive action. It should be no surprise that it was life-changing. Take massive action on your goals, under the guidance of a master, and see what you can do in 100 hrs time.
To your Copywriting – and Personal – Mastery,
P.S. While I might personally decide to go again, I am not endorsing the program. It is for serious students of meditation, and requires a degree of physical and psychological fitness. If you feel so inclined, you may check out their website here. There are many meditation retreats out there. Use your best judgement.
It's late, and I am writing after being shanghaied into garden work. Several hours of forced labor. At least the dog had a good time. But then, he always has a good time. At any rate, I didn't want to let anymore time pass, or we might forget what we were up to.
Yes, we're still working on that looong copy sales letter. Skip on down to the bullets.
I don't know about you, but after all that build up, I can't wait to get a real "peek" inside, at the "specifics". Note the sentence that follows this sub head. See how one plays off the other. It's dangerous to assume you know what your prospect is thinking, but if you set it up this way, it's a slam dunk. Yes, I want to see specifics, because the sub head made it sound so naughty. Personally, when I see "I know you...[whatever]", I say to myself, 'no you don't', and that's often the end of that sales letter. Polarity responders especially will do this. Find ways to plant the thoughts, and then repeat.
I don't know if I would have used the number one as the first bullet, but it seems a smart move. It has three numbers in it. And that's proof that he's offering specifics. Notice how all the bullets are sort of undeveloped headlines. That should take you back. Remember when we first talked about bullets all those long weeks ago? Notice how many 'How to' headlines, and the 'X number ways to...' headlines. Imagine using them as headlines. What's missing? Could you fix it with a hook? A new mechanism of delivering the benefit? A claim plus proof?
We haven't discussed types of bullets. Take number four. See how it teases you, dancing all around the critical info? That's called a fascination. Compelling, benefit driven. The idea is to create such curiosity that the prospect can't sleep until she is holding your product in her hands. There are several examples here. Sometimes called blind bullets, they are often alternated with facts. Bullets that can 'see' the actual info. See how often he witholds. Look at number 10. Here he tells 'what' you need to do to present price, but not 'how'. File that trick away. Notice the red, used to keep you scanning. Number 27 refers to number 26, each a fascination the one
layered on the other. See also how he divides the bullet, far too long by copywriting standards otherwise, mid thought. Seemingly arbitrarily. Zeigarnik, anyone?
Bullets need to be pithy, and can make or break the sale. Make them salivate.
Of course, there's more. The end of that paragraph, starting with the underline, shows a little swagger. He finishes this off referring to the bulk of this 'money-making 'product'.
Now comes presentation of price. Kennedy handles this sensitive matter by... blaring through a bullhorn. By doing so, he weakens the thought in the prospect. See how he almost interrupts what comes before? He keeps control of the price conversation. He further weakens resistance with the highlighted text.
Remember, we've seen some pretty big numbers. The doctor example he uses really makes the point, throwing in an apples to oranges comparison. What does the Jaguar have to do with anything, really? Mercifully, we get the price rather quickly. At least the price for a limited time (limited perhaps to the duration of the internet; please don't do this). A time limit should be supported by a reason why. But Kennedy is still working on price resistance.
There's more apples to oranges storytelling. A touch of exclusivity (millionaire members). Then that classic 'humiliation trigger: "financially embarrassed". Be sure to get comfortable with that. It's great for the 'rub the pain' aspect.
Next, one story to prove another to reduce resistance. Note again the 'sale' price is in red. This undoubtedly improves response, over black. We then get a 'reason why' he's charging so little. Has he convinced you yet that a thousand bucks is a paltry sum for the potential wealth-in-a-binder he's offering? He makes fun of legitimate reasons to be concerned with price, calling them "excuses". How 'humiliating'.
A direct call to action: "Now, complete the Order Form and get it in!!!" Really puts the 'direct' in 'direct response'. Before the last highlighted sub head, he foreshadowed: "If you’re “cash tight” and tempted not to invest in this information, bluntly, think again." Consistency helps. Don't worry, most people need help to make the decision they want to make. So help them. If the product is not right for them, based on what you've written, they've bailed on you by now. So go for it.
Finally, a recap of the headline. Proof that he's proved it. Tell what you're going to tell me, what you're telling me, and what you told me. The very repetition is proof. A little testimonial, the first real testimonial in the letter, and the signature. Don't overlook that last admonition, another call to action.
But wait, there's more.
No, really, it doesn't end.
There's one PS. Wow, he makes you feel cheap, doesn't he? More price resistance work. Then he introduces his faculty, which offers more space to call to action. As an aside, note the highlighted text, "My own comment is that John Carlton..." Carlton uses this as a testimonial on his site. Finally, there are six 'reasons why' you should buy.
Perhaps I should mention there is a rating from a real person. Five stars of course. And the guarantee, while not part of the copy, is below.
Wow that's a long post. See you next time.
I have to head out of town today, so I'll be brief.
You have perhaps heard it said that you should walk around with the belief that you have what rightfully belongs to the prospect, the prospect has your money, and the world won't be right until you've corrected the situation. Or, if you have a product that really will make your prospect's life better, you have a 'moral obligation' to make the sale. Also, that people want to buy, they are coming to you to help them make the right decision.
But when do you cross the line? How can you be sure you're not overstepping your ethical bounds? I believe you can put the information in front of your customer, and generally let the decision rest with them. On the other hand, if they want to buy something you know is not appropriate, won't serve them well, etc., you should say so. You can decide how far you want to take it (even to the point of refusing the sale). Remember, this can actually build trust and make for a stronger relationship, ultimately resulting in greater future sales.
But to keep the discussion focused on copywriting, yes, sometimes you need a bit of puffery to make the sale. It's an accepted part of the process, and as long as your product delivers on every claim, it shouldn't worry you. Since time is growing very short, I'm going to skip our analysis today, and tell a brief story to illustrate my point.
At another time in my life, I was interested in meditation, and things of a spiritual nature. And it so happened that I came across a buddhist retreat. There, one would meditate for 10 hours a day for 10 days. Talking was forbidden, except on the 7th day in the evening. I was not, nor have ever been Buddhist, but that description intrigued me, and I had a friend who had gone, so I signed up.
It lived up to it's promise as being a secular sort of meditation. No dogma. Just a process of observing oneself. And finally, that story I promised. It is supposed to be from the Buddha, handed down through Burmese Buddhist tradition.
There was once a great master, who, naturally lived in a great house. Elaborately furnished, gilt, with servants and all the finer things. The house had many, many rooms, and also many children. These children of the master, as you can imagine, had the most wondrous toys. Anything a child could want, and each having his own. But in an old house, with candles and fireplaces...
There came disaster. The house was on fire. The master's butler got the servants out, and the master went for the children. But they didn't want to go. They prefered to stay with their toys, thinking the toys were the grandest thing in the world. To perish in the flame? It was beyond their understanding. There was no time.
The master, realizing he could not carry so many children, and that there was no time to make a second trip. So he came up with this plan. A great promise. He told them that waiting for each of the children outside was a golden stage coach, crusted with jewels. Drawn by white horses, whose reins were studded with diamonds. Indeed, it was a grand vision he created for them. And the children, lacking the wisdom to understand the fire, began to greatly desire to see the spectacle.
But this was a very rich and very wise master. In fact, he was opening the children's eyes to a larger world, for, you see, the coaches and the horses and the diamonds, they were real. And even greater than the master had described.
Your customers, your clients, your friends – they have no way of knowing how valuable what you offer can be to them. In fact, good salesmanship itself can create value, by showing them how to use your product to improve their lives. And if it takes some good storytelling, even some hype, to overcome their inertia, well, as long as you can deliver – overdeliver – you may be doing a great service for your fellow man.
To your Copywriting Mastery,
After all this anaylisis, and still only halfway through.
If you're following along, drop down to the highlighted sub-head "How to Think, to Grow Rich". He makes the point that copywriting is not about writing, but rather about sales thinking. The sales letters I've come across for copywriting courses emphasize that you don't need to be an expert author. Kennedy said the same earlier in this letter. But this is really an elegant way out. Not only do you not need to write well, you really don't have to write at all.
The text in red harnesses the old Zeigarnik effect. He hints at the reason, actually "THE reason" you should buy – "no matter the price". He interrupts the explication of THE reason to begin discussion – or obfuscation – of price. Adjacent to the light bulb drawing, he gets back on track to relieve the tension. Know we know what the reason is.
Momentum could die here, as with any point where there is release of tension, or closure. See what you think. At some point, if you stick around, we'll look at some tactics to keep your reader involved through the letter. Personally, I would skip ahead at this point. But I might stick around when I noticed a picture of...
Napoleon Hill. Well, it was foreshadowed with the previous subhead. When I first read this interpretation of Think and Grow Rich, I couldn't believe it. He even suggests that the greatest value of the book is to extract strategies and models for writing ads. I'm still bothered by his 'secret' tease. And if someone offered to share the true secret in Think and Grow Rich, I'd probably stop and check it out. Incidentally, if anyone knows more of Hill's work as a copywriter, I would be very interested.
Moving on to... more storytelling. How do you feel? Is it like meeting an old friend for a few drinks at the bar? A few good laughs and stories. Colorful imagery. Here, after the Napoleon Hill interlude (which ties in well to the self-help gurus mentioned earlier in the letter), Kennedy gets back into breaking down price resistance.
See how early he begins the process. Remember when he was throwing around those big numbers? In that story that really didn't prove his point (except through the spin he put on it)? Or you could argue he began in the headline itself.
You might also note how he has sharpened the desire. Primal urges – to know (secret) things, to work less, to have the (super) power that money brings – have by now been linked to copywriting. How rediculous. For most, copywriting is difficult, time consuming, and not especially well paid. Those are the lucky ones. But of course, that's not the point.
The point is how he moves from our vague desires to focus them on what he's selling. And the devices, the strategies and tactics that get us there.
Kennedy offers a couple of case studies, in lieu of testimonials, then bullets. We'll look at these briefly tomorrow, then on to the offer.
Sheridan Randolph
We left off yesterday in a section where Kennedy is hammering home the headline. Reiterating that it is the most valuable skill, and that if you possess it, which he proved you surely can, you will work less and less. Until your sole occupation is climbing in and out of your hammock. Stay on that yes train.
Below the next order link, there is a highlighted sub head. "How the Awesome Power..." I'm not going to analyze this in as much detail, but I can tell you, when I first encountered this letter, he had me hooked. I devoured this story. I don't have employees, but have dealt with them in my father's business. As a result, I'm pretty prejudiced against them. Good help really is hard to find.
Everyone knows numbers are incontrovertible, so a little simple arithmetic strengthens the story. He goes on to make some good points. But do they really prove the premise? It's a great story, but it seems rather to prove that a corporate reorganization and refined business model were the solution, ultimately ennabling more time for copywriting. Not the other way around.
Drop below the next order link.
Anyone who's seriously involved in chasing copywriting gurus will know the name Gary Halbert. In fact, he's legendary. But does he endorse this product? Not explicitly, but do you think having his name here ads to credibility? This trick is often done with celebrities as well. You have to be careful how you go about it, but it can be a response multiplier.
"With wisdom I lacked..." Don't often see the word wisdom in a sales letter. Followed by a little rule-breaking ("Screw the bankers..."). A wise rebel. There's a little bit of a hook in that. The box there draws your eye. A mathematical proof, and the eye easily finds what you're meant to read next. "Total: $270,000.00 cash," notice how he adds those extra zeros after the decimal point. Looks more substantial. The word 'total' recalls the phrase 'grand total', which I always stop to hear. "in less than ten days." Well, of course it happened fast. I've been saying 'yes, copywriting brings fast easy cash' for several pages now. Also, 'cash' is a selling word, especially the 'cold, hard' kind.
Next he shores up his promise, then launches into another emotional ride into economic insecurity.
John Carlton has a graph. The vertical axis is interest, the horizontal is magic. The more magical your solution becomes, the further out on the graph, the greater the interest, moving up on the graph. Dan Kennedy doesn't waste time. Note the cartoon of the wizard. Alchemy. Medieval. This is sheer fantasy. But see how well he ties it in.
Then the promise of a secret society. Finally I'll be special and understood. While my competitors struggle in their ignorance. A reference to a venerable success guru, Clement Stone, and why what he has to offer is now better. And if you know how many copywriters start out, the highlighted text is bound to hit home with that crowd.
Next, a confession. He goes off the deep end. It helps that it comes later in the letter, but see how he manages this without going 'huckster'. (You've seen those furniture store commercials, right?) It helps that he tells the story of one of his colleagues. For credibility, and to cut down on the use of 'I'.
Then the turn. Now the entreprenuer is the hero. Finally he – the wizard with secret knowledge – is granting us our superpowers. How I have waited for this day. See how he's given himself such authority. Life and death over the poor, helpless CEO. Delicious fantasy. This is followed by a transition which begins to set up price.
Have you noticed he's been anchoring big numbers? How he's sequencing stories? Some of which really have nothing to do with the selling situation at hand. This is why face to face sales is so important for copywriting. To get that sense of sales thinking, for what to include.
Next up, my favorite part of this letter. It's like in the Wizard of Oz, where we see technicolor for the first time. Stay tuned.
To your Copywriting Mastery,
Picking up where we left off. [Here's the link again.]
Mentioning Earl Nightingale, followed shortly by mention of a program, titled The X-Factor, which includes an audio by Zig Ziglar. How many of his clients do you suppose have experience with those authors? Ziglar was one of the first I read. Great for rapport. And he mentions both often enough that I associate the two with him. Aside from building a link from product to prospect, which is key, it sets up a theme for the letter.
Here he ties into the headline. See how smoothly he works in instant gratification. Of course he greatly benefited by those authors, there advice to be persistant, etc. But there was something, some secret knowledge, missing. Thank goodness it wasn't hard work. Red text to draw attention. He begins to deliver on the promise of the headline. Does "compel people to give me money" stoke your greed glands?
The next highlighted text supports the idea in the headline about doing less work. It also sets up "THE ONE THING", as promised in the headline. See how the paragraph in between reveals his obvious flaw. If you pay attention to his marketing, you can see how he leverages his lack of education.
This claim, that it is the most valuable skill, is backed up in the paragraph before the next order link. Look, we can "possess a power no one else... has". It must be true, there's a Superman logo complete with Smallville metaphor.
In red, he makes another claim. Do you think it would work earlier in the letter? He has established rapport, offered proof, given us a little back story to establish his credibility. After all that, a strong statement like this can pass the 'So What?' test.
A quick note on 'So What?' The cardinal sin of copywriting is to bore your prospect. One trick to deal with this is to put yourself in the mindset of your skeptical, lazy prospect. Then, reading through, keep asking 'So What?' If, with this attitude, the letter compels you to find out what happens next, you're on the right track.
Next, he uses the 'vault' metaphor to paint a pleasing picture of the life you will have if you learn this skill. Followed immediately by a dark picture of what happens if you don't. Enslaved. Unable to do any kind of marketing. (See how he undermines Guerilla Marketing. Subtle. Better save my money to buy this course before I buy any more of Levinson's books.) I'm going to swipe "ankle-chained". The picture of suffering is clear, no?
But wait, there's hope! And it's highlighted. And it proves what he told us earlier. It really is the most valuable skill! I am nodding my head yes. What an emotional roller coaster.
See how easy it is to instantly gratify your greed. None of the messy med school trauma. A bit of blood and guts thrown in for good measure. "Massive financial investment" is good to anchor a high price tag. What is a medical education these days? $150,000? More? Plus revenue lost in residency, where they make about $40,000, and finally specialize. Boy, a copywriting course that's even a fraction of that would be a real bargain. As long as it's under 10 grand, I'm on board. Let's see where it goes from here.
Wow, he's giving us 'every trick' he knows. The paragraph next to the ugly thinking cap cartoon makes a great point about sales thinking. This offers more of that x-factor, and transitions to the next section.
Zeigarnik warning! He interrupts this message to bring you... a damaging admission. Surprise, this product is not for everybody. Notice where this comes in the letter.
Moving on, he begins to make the reader the hero. In the fourth paragraph below the order link, he intimates that I could rival Bencivenga. Of course I would need what his product provides. Maybe this product is for me after all. Let's see if he shows how I can become that top copywriting hero.
Naturally, becoming the hero takes no talent. See the dual readership path he makes explicit. Of course, any indication that I need not read something arouses my curiosity, but the numbers do make it easy to skip ahead. Subheads function similarly. We'll address dual readership again in future posts. Note permission to break the rules. To steal.
"I want to give this to those who are searching for me, before it's too late". Sounds like this may be the Messiah of Marketing. (We jumped down just below the next order link.) "You can do just about anything you want with it." Superman hero, satiating greed and satisfying that altruistic impulse at the same time.
We'll leave off here for today.
To you Copywriting Mastery,
